What May Reminds Me Of - #Whynotyou? #Whynotnow?

May reminds me of my grandmother: M. Terry Hall. She was strong, opinionated, fashionable, feisty, ambitious, and utterly unpredictable. She was born on May 2, 1914 and knew the devastation that war, economic depression, and political crime could reap upon small communities across America. And yet, she was ever hopeful. Sometimes that hope was a bit anxiety driven, but nonetheless, she was motivated to forgo fear with activity.

Her ambitions were great; she wanted leave behind her family's small bodega in Meriden, CT and pursue law school. However, with a dip in her parent's business she was required to work immediately after high school and relinquish her dreams of "pushing men and women to the truth, and only the truth," as she would say with a ferocity in her voice. Her financial status did not improve when she married my grandfather, a poor, but hard working farm boy. Although this marriage required sacrifice, early mornings to milk the cows, nonstop work, and little time alone with her husband, Terry made the most of it. She paraded across the pastures reciting poetry and speaking to the cows as if they were her truest companions. My grandmother knew how to make the best of her circumstances. Her temper, when exposed, drove her to new heights of exploration. If she felt dissatisfied she decided it was time to take on a new hobby. I can recall sitting by her rocking chair with The Laurence Welk Show playing in the background. With her eyes ablaze, she would recall personal feats of ice skating on the pond in the dead of winter, riflery club, archery club, tap dancing, you name it. Terry was driven to make a name for herself however she could. This name didn't need to be remembered by anyone else, it just needed to suit her. She longed for fulfillment, and unlike most of us, I think she really did find it. For she was not bewildered by what she did not choose. She chose to respond to life with zeal. She sought excitement in simplicity and became a woman of courage. 

I am astounded by how easily I can be discouraged. I am deterred by bad news I can't control, days that seem unpredictable, and those dusty places in my house I never have time to clean. And yet, I have moments of clarity (like the present one) in which I feel that none of that actually matters. Instead, I see that I have been blessed to have many opportunities that are waiting to be sought after and seized for my benefit and growth. I want to ask myself more frequently #whynotnow? #whynotyou? These questions force me to see how little credit I can give myself and how little I trust my brain to create solutions to seemingly insurmountable problems. In May, I remember my grandmother and I contemplate her legacy -- there is something of her that is pushing its way through me. 

Why not you? Why not now? What are you holding yourself back from? What personal goal do you not have enough time for? Enough energy for? Enough money for? I wonder what brilliant solution you can create to accomplish these goals. 

If it's a fitness or nutrition related goal, you have a friend in me. If it's something else, you also have a friend in me. =) I'd love to hear your thoughts. What was your grandmother like, what legacy did she leave behind? #whynotyou? #whynotnow?